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Okay- I admit, I don’t do “Self Care” like the kind every blog in the world calls self care. I don’t take 15 minutes to stand by a window sipping a cup of hot tea, or lounge in a lavender scented bath for an hour. I’m not about going for a nice walk around the neighborhood or dressing up fancy and treating myself to a fancy dinner. I honestly don’t find those things very… relaxing. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I am rather bored doing them. While my body might need a break, my anxious mind is on constant run mode and I need self care that will help it to finally shut up. So this is where I deviate from the norm. I need mental stimulation. So, instead, I watch anxiety inducing TV, play video games, get into a Rage Clean mode and reorganize a closet, eat something naughty (I’ll never fit into my wedding dress at this rate), or create art or make jewelry. If it involves making a mess or is a time sink- that’s my idea of self care. At night I’ll add something yummy smelling to my aromatherapy unit and read action packed adventure books from my Kindle before bed. And before going to sleep, I’ll take my medication and give my Amethyst crystal a hold and rub, hoping beyond hope it will help me fall asleep within 2 hours. SHUT. UP. BRAIN.
My favorite Aromatherapy unit is this one from Innogear. It has a 30 second on/off setting and pretty lights. Anxiety is described as the feeling of being in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze mode. It’s your brain repeatedly saying “Something is wrong. Something’s not right” and you telling it that there is nothing wrong. ADHD means your brain is constantly talking, making up scenarios, having conversations with people you know you won’t ever have, or just reliving something from five years ago. And if you have an earworm… your stuck with it for days. Now, I’ve had people say to me “Everyone has anxiety.” Yes, very true, but it’s not ALL THE TIME. Imagine spending most of your waking hours just waiting for the other shoe to drop- not if, but when. It’s exhausting. Mine likes to manifest by shaking my leg non stop, which is also driven into existence by my lovely ADHD. Chest pains for no reason are common. I’m anxious writing this post! What if you the reader just stop right now and go find something better? What if my computer crashes and I don’t save? AAGGGGHHHHH!
So what exactly constitutes the magical idea of SELF CARE? Can it be defined? Does it have to conform?
Anyone who tries to tell you what self care should be needs a space check. Self care is what YOU make it. And for that you need to define what yours is, and that’s where I think people go wrong. They don’t know what they want or how to feel better by doing something… or doing nothing. I’ve tried all sorts of methods to meditate, and most fail me. It’s my inability to focus. So, I don’t meditate, it’s not for me. I’ve gotten massages, and I HATE them. I can’t relax. I don’t hold still enough to get a professional manicure and I’m that woman that will destroy my nails 20 minutes later. A day at a spa twists me inside. Those things that are supposed to relax you make me tenser. So I end up constantly brushing off any suggested methods for self care.
So how DO I do self care? Simple- I do that which occupies my brain so I no longer have to think. I create things- crochet, cross stitch, pour painting. These aren’t hard tasks, repetitive and I can do them while listening to good music, or watching TV. Speaking of watching TV, I admit I have a problem- I could zone out watching Hoarders for HOURS. But, so what? Isn’t that self care right there? I watched a show I enjoy watching, and relaxed. And that’s where the self care aspect comes into play. And while I was watching I got up and did some laundry during the commercials. Put a glass into the dishwasher. Watered a plant. Threw a wrapper away. I’ve even given myself a mini mani with my fav nail file. I was still doing, but the time spent just sitting there (relaxing!) felt wasted. But it really wasn’t. I was doing self care! We all do it, we just need to realize it. And sitting beside me was my “boyfriend” cat, Ares. He’s only useful for snuggles, but he LOVES to play with his kicker, which does provide some self care entertainment.
My favorite handheld nail drill- I’m sure I’ve worn down every single bit it came with!
So, take stock in what you are doing and ask yourself, “Does this qualify as self care?” Does watering your 5 year old pothos plant give you joy? Well there you go! Does cleaning your shelf of knick knacks give you fond memories? Woo hoo! Is binge watching whatever is on TLC at the moment your cup of tea? Well, get sipping. Is dancing to 90’s hits in your underwear a thrill? Bust a move, girlfriend! And when used carefully, even retail therapy can be self care. Maybe a beautiful crystal bracelet, perhaps? Self care doesn’t just have to be a day at the spa, self care can be what you want it to be. But, never underestimate the power of a bath once in a blue moon., as long as your tunes are loud and jamming.
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